I Love the Way You Snicker at My Comments
by ThisIsEms
Summary: Cophine AU. Cosima is an amazing scientist and no one could believe that her life is falling apart. She feels depressed, heartbroken and lonely. But things start to look up when she is introduced with a therapist named Delphine.
1. Chapter 1 Why

_**A/N** : Heyyy, guys! Well, I miss Cophine so much that I've decided to start working on a new story. I just took my laptop and started typing, so I have no idea where this is going. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! _

* * *

"Owwwwwwww! Fuck, fuck, fuck," I hiss right after I hit my face against the side of my closet and almost break my glasses.

I wonder if my life could get any worse or not. Probably it could and the saddest part is that it definitely will.

I am supposed to be happy, though. I've got a roof over my head, I can afford to eat anything I want, I have a well-paying job, I'm a highly educated person.

But I'm not. _Happy_ I mean.

And whenever I feel down or miserable, everybody blurts out a simple

" **WHY** "?

I don't have the answer to this stupid _why_ , excuse me if I don't have answers to all of the world's questions. Do you necessarily need to have some kind of a terrible disease or get kidnapped in order to have the right to feel sad? Depressed? Pathetic? Or is it possible that having everything that should make a person happy just isn't enough?

I take a sip of my favourite cocktail and look around my smoke filled room.

It screams emptiness.

Maybe being alone is a key issue here. I don't even know anymore. My mom says it's my fault I'm lonely and all by myself because I made a decision to be gay.

" _Made a decision_ ," I whisper to myself and chuckle immediately.

Yes, one day I went for a walk and it hit me – I want to be gay because it's getting more popular nowadays. Or at least that's what my _mommy_ thinks.

However, it's not important anymore because I gave up on love years ago. I thought I already had it all; a bright future, an amazing soon-to-be wife, great kids on the way. Boy, never have I been so wrong. She left me the day before our bachelorette party. Sounds like magic, huh?

So, here I am, completely alone in a huge apartment surrounded by sheer darkness and misery. I fill myself with shitloads of alcohol and definitely enjoy the pure bliss of smoking weed.

"Ouch… I have lost myself aaagain. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found…" I sing to Sia's probably the saddest song ever while slowly taking a puff.

 _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

"What the…" I suddenly hear a loud banging on the door. I gather all of my strength and barely manage to stand up. I stumble across the room and finally reach the door. I practically rip them out and stare at the person in front of me.

"WHAT?" I rage because there isn't a single person in the world whom I'd be willing to deal with at this point.

"How could you miss work again?!" the person now lashes out.

"Is it morning already?" I giggle and plop down onto the couch.

"What is going on with you? Look at yourself… Look at your place. Cosima…" his voice trails off. I actually bothered to look and I have to say that I need to take out the trash. Oops.

"Nothing. NO-THING is going on with me. Piss off, Scotty-boy," I might as well bite his head off anyways.

"What's gotten into you? I wanna help. Just let me, please," he simply ignores my verbal abuse. "If you keep doing this, you could get fired."

"Well, maybe I do not care," I simply shrug and let out an unexpected laugh.

"Cosima, I know you care," Scott sighs and sits down next to me. "Would you please consider getting professional help?"

"Professional help? Like a shrink? Ha!" I wave my hands in the air and snicker. "You, my friendly friend," I point directly towards him, "are especially ridiculous tonight."

"You need to sleep this off, Cosima," he says and tries to put me to sleep. "I know someone who can help you. Please. Think about it."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks, mom," I now mumble and feel myself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

"Holy watershed," I open my eyes and feel nothing but a sharp pain in my head. "Jesus…" I whine and I swear to god I've never felt so bad in my life.

"For fuck's sake!" I do my best to get up but my plan doesn't work. I pick up my phone and check the time.

 _4:00 am. 15 missed calls and 10 new messages._

"Great. Fucking great."

The last thing I remember is Scott coming over here. He kept bugging me about some sort of help… God, I'm so consumed with guilt right now. I shouldn't have treated him this way. I really must be a terrible person.

And this is how all of my days usually start. Being overwhelmed with guilt, regret and pain, which leads to excessive drinking and getting high just to shut my mind off. Just to forget. To make it stop.

I immediately dial Scott's number and wait for him to pick up.

"Come ooooon, where are you?" Then I realize what time it is. "Stupid. That I surely am." My words are followed by a facepalm.

"Hello? Cosima?" I hear a concerned voice at the other end of the line.

"Oh, fuck, Scott, yeah, hi," I blurt out incoherently.

"Is everything okay?"

"No. No, no, no. I…" Suddenly I feel hot tears falling off of my face. "I need help. I need to get rid of this fucking misery, Scott. Please, please," I tell him chocking back sobs.

"Cosima, it's gonna be okay. I promise. We'll get you all the help you need, just calm down," Scott reassures. "I'll come over in like an hour, okay? We'll clean up and you have to pull yourself together. We'll fix this."

I have to admit that those words were of no use for me. But at least I was ready to face the reality and the bitterness of it.


	2. Chapter 2 Accidentally stuck

"I see you're feeling better, Cosima."

"I.. Uh.. Yes… Yes, I am," I reply awkwardly.

Okay, so, Scott is my hero because he told my boss that I've had a kind of a highly contagious flu or whatever for the last few days. Luckily, he didn't find out that this flu came with vodka, wine and weed.

Eventually, I managed to pull myself together and decided not to drown my sorrows in endless amounts of alcohol. This, however, doesn't mean that everything is just perfectly fine now or that I stopped feeling like total crap. Therefore, I've taken Scott's advice and decided to seek professional help. But first, I had a job to keep.

"Good. I expect to see the analysis of the data by the end of the week." My boss, Dr Leekie, can be very intimidating sometimes. He's either in a good mood or a complete asshole. I can't fucking comprehend his behaviour.

"Yes, Dr Leekie, I'm on my way." I'm soooo screwed.

So, to sum up, I had to work not only days but also nights because of my utter stupidity. I missed out on so much work that it took me twice as much time to analyse things that were actually easy.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm running towards the lab.

"I can't be late, I can't, I can't, shit! Why does this keep happening to me?!" I panic and speed up. If I don't hand in the report in time, I'm pretty sure I'll be redundant in a second.

"OH MY GOD, am I late?" I say completely out of breath. I see Scott flash a smile and I let a sigh of relief.

"You made it this time. But seriously, Cosima, how are you even capable of being late all the time?" he smirks.

"Oh, just drop it. It's the universe, not me!" I attempt to defend myself.

"Hey, before I forget. Here," Scott says handing me a piece of paper.

"What's that?"

"It's a phone number and an address of a therapist that I know of," he explains. "I think you should make an appointment since you're done with the assignment."

"Uhmmm… Okay, cool, yeah, thanks." No more words come out of my mouth.

"I mean it, Cosima. She's really good, trust me."

"Alright, alright, jeez. I'll give the office a call. Promise," I retort.

"Dr Delphine Cormier," I read the therapist's name out loud and I love the way it rolls off of my tongue.

* * *

I get back home and decide to make the stupid appointment with Miss Delphine. The secretary said the next possible time to meet her is on Monday. Guess I'll be late again. Damn universe.

I wonder what I should do on a Friday night. The usual would involve getting wasted, going to some gay club and making out with random chicks.

I shake my head and decide to go to my favourite spot instead and clear my head. On my way, I listen to some _Grimes_ songs and instantly I feel more relaxed. I can already see the lake in the distance, which is the place that reminds me of my pretty awesome childhood. I've been going there since I was a kid whenever I felt lost or tense.

What I see next makes me stop dead in my tracks.

"Hey! Oh man, uhhh… Could you like… come a little bit closer?" a woman shouts out. A woman in a tree. A _fucking_ tree.

I think _what the hell_ and approach the tree.

"Uhhh… What are you doing up there?" I furrow my brows in confusion.

She suddenly bursts out laughing, which is then followed by a possible panic attack.

"I g-got stuck," she stutters, "also my cat got stuck in the same tree, so I climbed up here to get him."

I have to stifle a laugh. "Sooo, now you're both stuck?"

"Uhm, no. It got away! Shit!" she says on the verge of crying. I totally have no idea what to do.

"Okay, calm down. Do you like want me to call someone? Like, umm, firefighters?" I ask.

"Please, don't!" she practically begs. "It's embarrassing enough for a grown woman to get stuck in a tree while rescuing her cat. What I really don't need is a bunch of guys making fun of me. I'd become the subject of their work-related jokes."

Now I'm imagining that and start giggling to myself. She rolls her eyes.

"Sorry," I mumble and give her an apologetic smile. "So, I'll climb up and get you myself", I suggest and she just widens her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm like super good at climbing trees. I used to climb this very tree like hundreds of times when I was a kid," I add proudly.

"O-okay."

Well, I have to say that the sight of me rescuing that poor woman was priceless. I'm clumsy as fuck, so the whole rescue was ridiculous as well.

When we finally got out of the tree, I noticed that she was _very_ beautiful. Graceful even, despite the fact that she was just stuck in a tree like a nine-year-old.

"My cat. Shit where's my cat?!" Here she goes, again with a panic filled voice.

"Don't worry, we'll find it. Let's look around," I suggest and she gives a weak nod.

We've been looking for an hour or so, but there was no sight of it. I observe that she looks crushed.

"Hey… I'm sure someone will put a poster up or something. That's what people do, right?" I try to cheer her up.

"Yeah, but… This is so not fair," she sighs.

"What does it look like?" I wonder.

"Uhm… I'd show you a picture but I'd left my phone at home. It's very fluffy, grey and has a massive tail!" she finally gives the smallest of smiles.

"Okay, why don't you give me your number and maybe I'll see him somewhere and bring it back to you," I make an effort to give her hope.

"Yes! That's very kind of you," she responds.

We say our goodbyes and I head back home. For some reason, I feel sad for her. Well, let's hope she finds that fluffy cat of hers. That could be the first story I tell my therapist. You have to start somewhere, right?


	3. Chapter 3 Basket case

"What's up, dude?" I ask Scott whom I find sitting in the lounge.

"Nuthin mch," he replies with his mouth full of food.

"What are you having? I want some too," I step towards him but he just moves away from me. A devilish smirk appears on my face. "Scotty, don't be rude," I say playfully and get ready to steal his salad. He knows I'm completely messing with him, though.

"You're in a good mood," Scott observes. "Had a good weekend?"

"I didn't do anything in particular. Actually, I was kind of bored," I shrug.

"But I guess you didn't go off the rails this time, yeah?"

"No. In fact, the opposite. I rescued someone on Friday," I reply grinning.

"How so?"

"I helped a woman who was stuck in a tree trying to rescue her precious cat," I tell him barely managing to keep a straight face.

"You what?" he lets out a snort of laughter.

"No, dude, I'm serious. I was out for a walk when I saw her there totally helpless."

"Are you sure you're not hallucinating?" Scott asks ironically.

"Shut up! No," I retort. "I even got her number. Scooore!"

"She must've been really desperate," he scoffs.

"Very funny. But, man, she was like super gorgeous, I wonder whether I should text her. Well, I mean, she gave me her number just in case I found her cat but still… maybe she'd be open to the idea of having some innocent fun," I say with a self-satisfied smirk on my face.

"Uhuh. I'd like to see how that'd work," Scott says mockingly.

"Nah. I don't even want to be involved with anyone," I state nonchalantly. I got so used to being lonely that I see no point in trying to change anything. I already have a best friend and there's absolutely no need for a lover. "I am, however, curious about that cat. I'm gonna text her."

"What's her name?" Scott inquires.

"I don't even know, she just put her number on Google Keep. She looks like a Danielle for me," I let out a giggle and think of what I'm gonna say to her.

 ** _Sent:_** _Hi! Uh, it's me. The one who helped you to climb down the tree. Have you found your cat yet?_

"You totally dig her. Just admit it," Scott is now pulling my leg.

"What? No, I just care for the well-being of animals, if you must know," I respond with a serious expression.

 ** _Inbox:_** _Oh yeah, hi_ _!_ _Didn't hope to hear from you since I'd made a huge fool out of myself. And the answer is no._

"Damn it," I mutter to myself and swallow my disappointment. "Nope, the cat has vanished into thin air," I now turn to Scott.

 ** _Sent:_** _I'm so sorry to hear that. But don't lose hope._

"Okay, since my lunch break is now officially over, I'll leave you two lovebirds to chat," Scott checks his watch and gathers his things.

"Wait… What time is it?" I suddenly jump. "Shit, shit, shit! Not again! I'm gonna be late for this shrink thing you made me go to!"

"And how is it my fault…?" Scott rolls his eyes and I've already stormed out of the lounge.

* * *

As I'm running with my heels on (this _really really_ doesn't make things easier for me), I finally understand that I've got lost.

"Shit, man, just fucking great," I curse under my breath and look around with the intention of finding out where I am. "No idea, okay. Google Maps it is." I pick up my phone, though my attention is drawn towards a specific sound coming my way.

 _Meowing_. I hear something meow.

I adjust my glasses and finally spot a cat curled up in the corner.

"Hey youuu," I practically whisper and try to approach it as carefully as possible so as to not scare him off.

It's fluffy, grey and seems to have a _massive_ tail.

"Oh my god, what am I doing, _what am I doing_?!" I yell at myself for being so insane.

I manage to lift the cat off the ground and put it into my arms, which, thankfully, does not scratch me. Yet.

I type the address of the office into the app and start following the directions. While carrying a fucking _cat_! Sometimes I wonder if I have a screw loose.

I basically fly into the building and the secretary immediately blocks my way.

"I'm sorry. No pets allowed here," she says flashing me a smile.

"But I'm… I'm late for my appointment," I spill completely out of breath.

"I'm really sorry. But these are the rules," she continues.

What am I supposed to do with it now?! I can't go home and I'm not even sure if it's _her_ cat!

"Uh… I can't see my therapist without my cat," I blurt out.

"Excuse me?" she asks.

"He's my rock and if he's not there with me, I won't be able to pluck up enough courage to face a therapist, that is, talk to a complete stranger about my most personal issues." Well, I might as well let her think that I'm a complete basket case.

"Uhh… Okay? Just let me check one thing."

I see her talking on the phone. Man, this cat is heavy. How did he even manage to climb up a tree?

"Miss Niehaus, Dr Cormier is ready to see you," the secretary informs. "With your… cat," she then adds.

"Okay, cool," I say and follow her lead. Shit, I forgot to text the tree girl about my discovery.

We step into the elevator and she presses the button. 6th floor.

" _This is so awkward_ ," I think to myself since the standard elevator music is blaring out of the speakers and I'm standing there with a cat which starts producing rapid movements. I cough awkwardly, not knowing where to avert my eyes.

"That's a nice pet you have," the secretary makes an observation and I flinch at the sudden remark.

"Uhm… Thank you," I reply and I'm surprised I didn't respond with something like _you look nice, too_.

We step out and walk down the corridor. I can't help but notice how white everything is. The walls, the doors, even the door handles. I begin to regret following Scott's advice and eventually coming here; what if they put me into a mental hospital?

"Here you go, first door on your left," she points out and leaves. A heavy sigh escapes me before I knock timidly and finally enter.

"Oh my…" my voice fades and I look like a deer caught in the headlights. I don't even notice that I've dropped the cat that I'd been carrying with me this whole time.

"Oreo?!" I hear somebody say and nearly faint.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** So, what do you guys think? Should I continue or is this absolute nonsense? Let me know! xx_


	4. Chapter 4 Oreo

**A/N:** _Okay, so, I have no idea what I'm doing, but still, here's another chapter. I'll be updating a lot slower due to my work schedule and stuff. But if there's no need, I might as well stop writing. Anyways, if there's somebody reading, enjoy! xx_

* * *

"You've found it!" she exclaims with a huge grin spread across her face. "How did you know where I work?" she hastens to add. That bright smile of hers… That's the first time I see it.

"I, uhh.. I didn't," I answer with a falter in my voice. "A-are you Delphine?"

She just stares at me in confusion.

"I mean, uhh, Dr Cormier?" I decide I should act more polite.

"Yes. How'd you…?" she proceeds to ask but I interrupt her.

"I guess I'm your patient? I have an appointment at 3:00. Shit, I'm late… I mean I'm Cosima," I say as I realize how awkward this is getting.

"Oh… Yes," she finally puts two and two together. "Hello, Cosima. I'm Delphine, well, umm, I'm Dr Delphine Cormier. Your… therapist," she says incoherently and I'm relieved I'm not the only one who's bewildered.

"Wow, umm, nice to meet you, again?" I tell her, unsure of what else to say. She gives the cutest of giggles.

"The pleasure is mine," she responds with a thick French accent. I get lost in the sight in front of me and I notice that she looks so different now, in comparison with the time I found her stuck in a tree. Her hair is curly this time and the formal outfit suits her even more.

"Oh, no, I'm the one gaining _pleasure_ here," I say checking her out shamelessly. She doesn't respond; instead, she just gives me a questioning look and I wonder whether I've crossed the line.

I guess not because she just snickers at my stupid comment.

"Huh. Cheeky," she simply says and moves towards her desk. I watch her pick up the phone. "Yeah, Hannah? Could you please come get my cat? I'll take him back after my session is over," I hear her talk to someone.

She now draws her attention back to me and points at the chair. "Please, have a seat."

"Yeah, thanks," I say and obviously sit down. "Sorry, I gotta ask. Your cat's name is Oreo?" I give her a playful smirk.

"Yes. What? Do you find it funny?" she asks feigning seriousness.

"Yeah, I mean, you named your cat after a cookie," I now can't supress my laughter. She finally gives in and lets out a soft chuckle.

"Oui, I wanted to keep it fun," she replies. The secretary now comes in and takes _Oreo_ , mumbling _sorry_ several times. "So, Cosima, what brings you here today?"

I didn't expect to find this question so unsettling. I wish I could go on chatting about cookies and trees, or whatever. I shift in my chair uncomfortably.

"I… I am not exactly sure," I somewhat mumble. "My friend told me to come see you." Well, that's the plain truth, right?

"I see. Is there any specific reason they recommended going into therapy?"

Huh. Specific reasons… Drinking, getting high, missing work, hating life. I wonder what kind of an answer I should give her.

"I guess I've been feeling a little upset lately," I decide not to go into the details now. She _is_ a stranger, after all. "Well, _upset_ would be kind of an understatement, to be honest." I finally meet her steady gaze. I make a mental note that the colour of her eyes is hazel. Which I absolutely love.

"Okay. Do you have any idea what is causing you to be upset? Like experiencing problems at work or being in a relationship?"

"Relationship..." I answer sardonically, as if talking to myself. "I'm so done with relationships. All they do is break your heart and leave you miserable as fuck," I continue and realize that maybe I should watch my language. "Jeez, um, sorry. Got carried away," I try to look at anywhere but her.

"All good," she says and flashes me a warm smile. "I suppose you've had your fair share of the breakup pain?"

"You could say so. I was about to get married but she left me," I say frowning.

"She?"

I see her face… blush?

"Yeah, um… I'm like totally gay. You know, _I like rainbows_ kind of gay," I respond boldly. I think she's now deep in thought because she averts her eyes from my face and stares blankly at the wall. I take the opportunity to study her features. I feel a sudden urge to touch her cheek.

"But your sexuality isn't an issue here, is it?" she comes back to reality and definitely catches me staring.

"Oh, god, no. Sexuality isn't a problem here. The problem is heartless people," I reply.

"You don't think there's someone you're meant to be with?"

"No. I don't believe in that stuff anymore. Soulmates and shit." Damn it, what's with the language?!

"I do," she responds immediately. "You might meet them in the most unpredictable ways."

I watch Delphine's face intently and she has no intention of looking away. I have no idea why but I suddenly remember walking towards the lake and seeing her dangling in my childhood tree.

"Yeah, but how do you know that the person's your… _soulmate_ , as you call it?" I choose to play along.

"You feel it," she answers, not breaking eye contact.

"I don't think I'm capable of feeling anything but sadness anymore," I respond.

"Trust me, when you meet the right person, everything is going to start changing," she says quietly and pauses for a second. "Love triumphs over everything that might crush you."

We both stare at each other silently for a moment and I wonder whether she looks at all of her patients this way. By _this way_ , I mean

 _lovingly_.

Jesus, I must be clinically insane for even thinking that.

We're startled by a phone ringing. "Yes?" she finally answers it. "Oh. I didn't notice. Send them in. Thank you." I just sit there awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, I believe our session is over. I have another patient waiting. To be honest, you _were_ half an hour late…" she says as if embarrassed.

"Oh, yeah, no, it's totally fine," I respond and get up out of my seat. "I'll go now."

"Will I see you again, Cosima?"

"I, uhm, I don't think therapy is for me. I mean you're probably very good at your job and, umm…" my voice trails off. I watch her closely and, damn it, she looks like a puppy. I swear. "But you know what? I'll make another appointment. I mean, come on, how could I resist seeing a crazy beautiful lady again? That could become, like, the best part of my day." I'm not even trying to hide a smirk on my face.

All she does is snicker at my comment. "I'm looking forward to that, Cosima," she says, slightly blushing.

And with that I'm on my way to make another appointment.


End file.
